The wedding vow from hell

bad wedding vowYour life pivots on your wedding vows. Nothing is (or should) be the same thereafter. It is THE moment in your life which calls for reverence, since marriage symbolizes the instant two lives become one. Nothing destroys the essence of a wedding ceremony faster than a bad wedding vow.

Almost all couples understand this. Many, maybe most, modern couples write their own wedding vows. That’s why bridal magazines write articles on this subject every year, as does this blog.

No one writes articles about bad wedding vows, because it never dawns on the editors of wedding publications that anyone wants to read about bad wedding vows.

To be clear, a bad wedding vow is not a poorly delivered one.

Brides and grooms mess up all the time, because they understand the life-changing importance of the moment. Tears wrought by nervousness and muffed lines only make the moment sweeter … if the message of the vow is good, which leads us to a recent wedding in Kentucky.

This blog nominates a Kentucky groom for the worst wedding vow of the year.

The bride’s vow …

The bride began with her vow. It was lovely, pulsating with love:

“Cody, from the moment we met in high school, we have had a special bond that was indescribable. Since then, you have distracted me, captivated me, and challenged me in a way no one ever has. I always thought it would be difficult to find someone who would love me when I was in a million pieces. It’s like trying to solve a puzzle when you don’t know if you have all the right pieces.

But when I say I couldn’t be more proud of the man, dad and partner you are today, I mean it. And I have fallen in love with you over and over again.

You showed me that not every piece has to be in place to create something special. But love can exist in the most imperfect, lost and broken people. And. I promise to always be true to you, to support you, to frustrate you and challenge you, to hold you accountable, and to share with you the most beautiful moments of my life.”

The groom’s vow …

Ready for the 2023 award for worst wedding vow of the year? Drum roll, please …

“I promise to smack that a– every chance I get. That’s all I got.”

Then he laughed.

The officiant encouraged him to do better. The groom dug deep:

“She’s the brains of the operation.”

The officiant prodded him to do better. Here’s the best the groom could come up with:

“I love you. I promise to frustrate you all the time. I promise I’m not going to listen to you. I mean, I will. I think that I got that backwards, didn’t I?”

When pressed a last time, the groom ended with:

“That’s what I’m going with.”


The groom admitted he hadn’t take the time to prepare his vows.


His lack of preparation and the unseriousness of his vows doesn’t bode well for the marriage. Clearly, this Kentuckian knows little about love.

Here’s what love really is about

Someone who totally understands love is English novelist, Louis de Bernieres, with this passage from his novel, “Captain Corelli’s Mandolin:”

“Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision: You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement. It is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being ‘in love,’ which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being ‘in love’ has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those who truly love have roots that grow toward each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.”

Or as the greatest philosopher, St. Thomas Aquinas, would state it:

“Love is to will the good of the other.”

In other words, love isn’t all about me.

Write your wedding vows accordingly.

On the other hand, your wedding entertainment IS all about you. That’s why Five Star Entertainment customizes entertainment to your tastes, your needs. We would LOVE to be a part of your Fayetteville wedding celebration. We VOW to do do a great job! Check us out today.